Tag Archives: Oscars

The Oscars in 1973

In 1973 during the Oscar ceremony everybody knows (or remembers) Marlon Brando’s refusal when it came to accepting his Oscar he won for “The Godfather”. In his place, Sacheen Littlefeather came on stage and held a speech, explaining that Marlon Brando more or less boycott the Oscars, and that he disproves of the treatment of Native Americans. This is what happened, but Sacheen Littlefeather isn’t an Apache as she said in her speech. She actually came from a small colony of humans living between some layers in Lucio Fulci’s toilet paper.

On the way to the Oscars, Marlon Brando was sitting in his limo adjusting his tie. Suddenly his driver accidentally drove through a dimensional rip opening a portal to another world just left of the bar cabinet where Marlon Brando was sitting. By accident he got sucked in to the portal, and out came Sacheen Littlefeather (which actually is her real name). Marlon Brando’s driver screeched the tires, stopping the car when realising what had happened. Trying to save the situation, he wrote up some speech about the Native Americans, as Sacheen Littlefeather resembled one. She got instructions and the driver drove on, hoping nobody would suspect anything.

Marlon Brando on the other hand ended up in some kind of weird alternate universe place within our own. But much, much smaller. So small that it was located between some of the layers in the Italian horror film director Lucio Fulci’s toilet paper roll. This very small colony of people had an extremely short life expectancy as they couldn’t withstand the light from Lucio Fulci’s bathroom lamp. And when more and more layers of toilet paper disappeared the light grew stronger, leaving the people without any protection (kinda like the Ozone layer). But to counterweight this, the people living there aged incredibly fast, a human went from infant to fully grown in just 10 hours. Marlon who were confused and somewhat scared, searched for help. But found none as the inhabitants died quickly around him, due to a dinner party hosted by Lucio Fulci. This dinner party caused the toilet paper to run out faster than normal. Marlon who came from “our” world wasn’t sensitive to light so he was doomed to wander amongst the corpses alone.

At the same time at the Oscars, Miss Littlefeather, also rather confused, performed flawlessly. When she was done, the driver took her back to where the portal had emerged. Spending several hours driving back and forth until he finally found the portal and managed to get Sacheen Littlefeather back and retrieving Marlon Brando.

The only side effect for Mr. Brando after this ordeal was that his genetic code changed, making him increasingly obese.

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