The Oscars in 1973

In 1973 during the Oscar ceremony everybody knows (or remembers) Marlon Brando’s refusal when it came to accepting his Oscar he won for “The Godfather”. In his place, Sacheen Littlefeather came on stage and held a speech, explaining that Marlon Brando more or less boycott the Oscars, and that he disproves of the treatment of Native Americans. This is what happened, but Sacheen Littlefeather isn’t an Apache as she said in her speech. She actually came from a small colony of humans living between some layers in Lucio Fulci’s toilet paper.

On the way to the Oscars, Marlon Brando was sitting in his limo adjusting his tie. Suddenly his driver accidentally drove through a dimensional rip opening a portal to another world just left of the bar cabinet where Marlon Brando was sitting. By accident he got sucked in to the portal, and out came Sacheen Littlefeather (which actually is her real name). Marlon Brando’s driver screeched the tires, stopping the car when realising what had happened. Trying to save the situation, he wrote up some speech about the Native Americans, as Sacheen Littlefeather resembled one. She got instructions and the driver drove on, hoping nobody would suspect anything.

Marlon Brando on the other hand ended up in some kind of weird alternate universe place within our own. But much, much smaller. So small that it was located between some of the layers in the Italian horror film director Lucio Fulci’s toilet paper roll. This very small colony of people had an extremely short life expectancy as they couldn’t withstand the light from Lucio Fulci’s bathroom lamp. And when more and more layers of toilet paper disappeared the light grew stronger, leaving the people without any protection (kinda like the Ozone layer). But to counterweight this, the people living there aged incredibly fast, a human went from infant to fully grown in just 10 hours. Marlon who were confused and somewhat scared, searched for help. But found none as the inhabitants died quickly around him, due to a dinner party hosted by Lucio Fulci. This dinner party caused the toilet paper to run out faster than normal. Marlon who came from “our” world wasn’t sensitive to light so he was doomed to wander amongst the corpses alone.

At the same time at the Oscars, Miss Littlefeather, also rather confused, performed flawlessly. When she was done, the driver took her back to where the portal had emerged. Spending several hours driving back and forth until he finally found the portal and managed to get Sacheen Littlefeather back and retrieving Marlon Brando.

The only side effect for Mr. Brando after this ordeal was that his genetic code changed, making him increasingly obese.



Filed under Facts

2 responses to “The Oscars in 1973

  1. Sandra Jenkins

    I find this a little difficult to grasp, let alone understand in it’s entirety. I’ll do more research of my own, but… I don’t want to seem like a close-minded person, because I’m not. And, I realize that with spreading the truth, it backfires; those who do not understand attack what they do not know, because that is all they know.

    However, this? It seems incredibly… implausible. I truly don’t understand the whole toilet paper thing. Multi-dimensional portals leading to other wolds? Yes, I do believe in that. But the toilet paper? Faster aging? I don’t know, man. I realize time is linear in OUR minds, but how exactly much more twisted can time truly become when you mention this? Toilet paper? Really?

    I guess I just need to delve more into this matter. Thank you.

  2. Geraldine Grumbin

    A fucking toilet paper roll? I came across this just now, and after reading your interesting theories of “truth”, would you mind providing sources of where this “truth” originates?

    Oh, that’s right. That’s because it does not exist. Your worldview is completely distorted, and I can see that this is a means for utilizing the internet to preach your lies. Ultimately, I laughed throughout the posts’ entirety. The lemur/meerkat is gold. That truly got me giggling, because there was an upside to all this nonsense.

    You fell flat on your ass (I’m hoping you managed thwart the inevitable face plant. Not that you wouldn’t deserve it) with one of those animals looking directly at you, hopefully bombarding you with fecal matter, with big, INTELLIGENT eyes that said, in an eloquent manner of speaking:


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